Retirement

This blog has been retired for the time being...my new blog address is: http://micalagh.wordpress.com/

Growth in various settings

Sometimes tutoring children can be really frustrating. I feel like I am constantly "making" kids do things they don't want to do. Things that they have to do- like reading and math. After a long day of school, the last thing they want to do is sit some more and do homework. But it must be done, and so there I am, telling them to sit down and shut up (usually in more polite terms, of course).

This semester has been very busy, and after tutoring I would often be frantically driving to either school or a counseling session. I had to switch gears very fast- from tutor/mentor to student, or counselor, depending on the day. These are all very different roles, and approaching a similar situation will look extremely different depending on my current role. Example- a kid acts out and refuses to do their homework. As a tutor, I use a sticker and prize system to motivate them. If that doesn't work, I call their parents. As a counselor, though, I explore their feelings about homework, get to the root of the problem, use art and play techniques to help them gain new skills. (Ahhh, if only I had time to take that approach during tutoring!)

Today, my first week without classes, I did not have to switch gears so quickly. Instead, I was able to bring kids to the Catholic Worker garden to plant and water flowers. It was so refreshing! In place of telling the children to sit down, stay inside, do their homework, I was able to tell them to dig a hole, plant a flower, water the garden. And they were so excited! It was heart-warming to see children take pride in their neighborhood, making it more beautiful.

I was quickly reminded- This is why I do what I do- to build relationships with kids, to help them grow, to help them learn, to help them learn to grow on their own. Whether it's the frustrating, yet important chore of finishing homework, the hope-instilling job of counseling, or the fun and exciting new skill of planting, these are all parts of empowering children and the community. I'm looking forward to more opportunities for growth throughout the summer!

Living Simplicity

"Some people seem to think that a life dedicated to simplicity and service is austere and joyless, but they do not know the freedom of simplicity. I am thankful to God every moment of my life for the great riches that have been showered upon me. My life is full and good but never overcrowded. If life is overcrowded then you are doing more than is required for you to do."

Source: Peace Pilgrim: Her Life and Work in Her Own Words

Oops. My life is overcrowded. There is no doubt about that. Living simplicity is quite challenging in our modern day American society. Particularly when you are a grad student, when you are passionate about so many things, when there are so many exciting opportunities, so many urgent needs, so many wonderful people to meet and connect with.

I admit it, I pack my schedule. From morning to evening, I am trying to squeeze it all in- coffee with friends and interesting people, my internship, a part-time job, service and actions that addresses social justice issues, class, readings, papers, yoga, prayer, etc. etc. It is fulfilling, interesting, exciting, but it is not simple.

The last part of the above quote challenges me- "If life is overcrowded then you are doing more than is required for you to do." Wow. How do you discern then, I wonder? What do you cut out? I am constantly evaluating and re-evaluating my schedule and how I am choosing to spend my time. But am I prayerful about every "yes" I say, everything I get involved in? Probably not as prayerful as I should be.

I was talking with a friend recently who is very involved in social justice issues- he is often attending protests, prayer services,and social actions. He is someone I admire because he is so aware of these issues, constantly engaging in the questions of how to make our country and our world more just. I mentioned an advocacy day I had recently participated in, and he replied (as if to himself), "You just can't get involved in everything. Sometimes you just have to trust that others are doing good work in addressing the areas you can't address. And then you just pray." What a wise statement. Maybe it is second-nature for most people, but I have to be reminded. I have to be reminded that it is okay not to be involved in everything. No one can singlehandedly save the world. The body of Christ is a body made of many parts because we all have different passions, different issues we bring awareness to, different roles. When we keep that in focus, we are able to live lives that are less overcrowded, more simple.

Out of control

I woke up this morning thinking I was in control. I had a plan, a schedule, I knew what I had to do and when. I was going to fit it all in somehow- my internship, my papers, tutoring, a presentation, and class.

I also woke up unable to breathe through my nose, and with a sore throat. But this was no matter- I was planning to continue my day as planned. I didn't have the luxury of being sick today.

I had everything that I needed for the day, I was leaving on time, and it was all going so smoothly!

Until I noticed frost on the back windshield of my car...which was strange since none of the other cars had any frost. It was especially strange when the frost began cracking and pieces of my window began to fall apart. On closer examination, the "frost" was actually my window shattered in a thousand little pieces. And a tiny hole in the corner led me to believe that someone had shot a bb gun, or something, at my back window.

Suddenly, my carefully planned day was out of control. I had no way to get where I needed to go (which happened to be Lancaster) and ended up being dependent on others to get around.

Isn't it amazing, and unfortunate, how much I rely on my car? And how much I rely on being able to plan and control the various aspects of my life?

I know the truth is that, ultimately, my life is not in my control. I can plan out each moment of each day of the next 10 years. But it will not turn out the way I plan. There are many other factors- other people's choices, good and bad. And you know, that little thing called God's will. The little thing that I will probably spend my life trying to figure out and never scratch the surface.

So why not just surrender? Why not trust?

I ended up spending the day doing needed work, taking it easy and trying to get better, and dealing with the car stuff. Not all I'd hoped for, but maybe where I needed to be.

Role Overload and Joy

I'll be honest. Lately, I have had trouble living up to my blog's name- you know the whole "rise and meet the day" thing. My mornings have been more like "hit the snooze alarm several times and grumble about how many things I have to do this day."

And I haven't had the best attitude about doing a lot of the things I have to do. Frankly, I am overwhelmed. As we learned in my Clinical class, I probably have "role overload." Having more than 5 roles at a given time is a recipe for disaster, so says the research. And I am a graduate student at Temple U., I am the advocacy coordinator of the Social Work Alliance, the Communication coordinator for Beyond Our Borders, an intern/therapist at Youth Advocate Programs, in charge of the el. school tutoring program for The Joshua Group, a volunteer, a fiance, a sister, a daughter, a friend...you get the picture. I am overloaded, and yes, with many roles that I have chosen, and some that have just occurred by virtue of being.

I am feeling all of this, and I have noticed that I have a bad attitude more regularly than I would like to admit. When people ask me how I am doing, they have recently gotten a groan in return and some reference to my exhaustion. This is not good. Where is the joy that I am supposed to have?

I was pondering all this as I stirred my iced coffee today (Counterculture from Midtown Scholar, of course). As I added the cream, I remembered how a dear friend of mine (Malinda) loves to watch the cream swirl and dissolve into coffee. And it reminded me of simple joys in life that I need to pay more attention to. So, this is what I am going to work on- focusing on the simple joys. Things like:

-one of the students I tutor who is from China and loves to joke around and try to make us all laugh

-another student- a 1st grader who gave me a picture that she made in school

-the screams and laughter of children who are playing "duck, duck goose" and are all hyped up in anticipation of trick-or-treat night

-a coffee break with the art therapist at my internship, who I enjoy talking with

-another great conversation with a co-worker about being a passionate vegetarian

-a 5 minute phone conversation with Emily that sparked laughter

- the silliness and sweetness of Josh when I greeted him after class

-my 17-year old brother calling me and offering to pray for peace in Harrisburg during our phone conversation

-the gorgeous, warm, blue sky day and the multi-colored leaves

-the vibrant Allison Hill community that rallied to provide safety and a fun trick-or-treat night for the kids

This is something I need to practice daily- a gratitude towards God, the people in my life, and the simple joys that can be found if I just pay attention a bit.

Thoughts...

Two interesting articles/blogs that I happened upon tonight. Parts I agree with, parts I'm not so sure. Just some things to ponder on the topic of homosexuality and Christianity:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/music/interviews/2010/jenniferknapp-apr10.html?start=1

http://blog.sojo.net/2010/09/23/god-loves-gays-and-so-should-we/

The ups and downs of city life

(This is a post I began about a month ago, and never posted. So here you go!)

In the past few weeks, my relationship with Harrisburg has been a bit of a roller coaster ride. Someone threw a rock at my window and broke it last week...and yesterday my bike was stolen. There were also some incidences of loud, disturbing middle-of-the-night craziness that can be a regular occurrence at times. These are the times when I wonder, "Why am I here, again?" Sometimes I forget the original reasons for wanting to live intentionally in the city.

But the saving graces outweigh the negatives:

A small group of friends went swimming in the river at a spot they frequent where I had never been before. It has a beautiful view of the mountains, the sun was setting, and the shallow rapids are calming and meditative. I am thankful that in this city, at least, it is relatively easy to drive 5-10 minutes up the road and really connect with nature.

National Night Out was a wonderful night full of old friends from the general community who I hadn't seen for a while. The girls I worked with in my first job out of college, who were young, shy, beautiful 11-13 year olds are now confident, resilient, beautiful 14-16 year olds. I felt a part of the community as I wandered around, greeting the youth and catching up.

A conversation with an acquaintance on the street tied it all together. He knocked on the window of my office when he saw me, motioning for me to come outside. He had seen me make an announcement at church and was excited to remind me about it. We started talking about lots of things: his church, the neighborhood, how things have changed in the many years he has lived in Allison Hill.

He talked about the "old days" in Allison Hill, how there used to be a vibrant farmer's market, and more stores and places of business. This was before the riots, he said. And then, after the riots, people started moving out. At least the ones who could move out, the ones who had the means to. Most of them unfortunately happened to be white.

But then he pointed to a house across the street from where we were standing, a house where an older white couple lives. "They've stuck it out," he said, "I have to tell them someday how much that means to me, they've been here for years." It was evident that their choice to stay in the city of Harrisburg, through good and bad times, meant a lot to him. It was like a statement of solidarity. While countless white churches and white families moved out of the city, a few stayed, symbolically saying, "Hey, we're in this together. We're not going anywhere."

So I am reminded of the joys, blessings, and the reasons I have chosen to live here in the first place.